Ta'arof is an exaggeratedly civil form of interaction in Iranian culture. It's a pattern of conversation that can lengthen and confuse a simple interaction with one party insisting on a favor, and the other doggedly denying it.
An few examples of ta'arof: a guest compliments something in the home of his host, and the host immediately offers it to the guest as a gift. The guest and host go back and forth, using flattery and modesty to indirectly determine if the gift is willingly offered. Or a shopkeeper insists an item is worthless until their customer has sufficiently begged them to take money for it.
Ta'arof stems from a cultural value on hospitality and politeness. It stresses that nothing is important but the comfort and convenience of a guest or customer. It can be kind of like a game, but when cues are misread or one party doesn't know ta'arof, things can get out of hand. Hosts promise more than they can afford, hungry people refuse food, and friends end up agreeing to a favor they never intended to carry out.
My boyfriend likes to tell a story about how his Iranian father subverted ta'arof by using an extreme version of it. He went out to lunch with his father and a friend of his father, who was also Iranian; knowing the friend would try to take the check when it arrived, his father pretended to go to the bathroom, then stopped the waitress and gave her his card before their food even showed up. Later, she dropped off the bill and of course, his friend reached for it, only to find it had already been paid for. My boyfriend says the friend was so upset, the following argument nearly turned into a fistfight. Apparently, missing a chance to be polite can make a person very impolite.
Sources:
http://www.iranian.com/Ghahremani/2005/March/Taarof/index.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taarof
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